ANA-BABA TUTUMLARI VE ÇOCUKLAR ÜZERİNDEKİ ETKİLERİ 3

Koruyucu Tutum:

Koruyucu tutum, ana-baba tutumunda çocuğa gereğinden fazla kontrol ve özen gösterilmektedir. Aşırı koruyucu tutumu daha çok anne çocuk ilişkisinde ortaya çıkmaktadır. Anne çocuğu sürekli korumakta ve ihtiyaçlarını sürekli olarak gidermektedir. Çocuğun kendi başına yapabileceği şeyler bile anne tarafından karşılanır. Böyle bir tutumda çocuğun kendi kendine bir şeyler yapabilmesine olanak tanınmamaktadır. Geç kavuşulan, aşırı istenilen, tek çocuk, tek erkek veya kız çocuk genellikle abartılmış sevginin odak noktası olurlar. Bu tip anne babalar çocuklarını el bebek gül bebek büyütüp kucaktan yere indirmezler. Çocuklarının üzerlerine titrerler. Çocuğa zarar gelebilecek ortamlardan kaçınırlar. Ağlamasın, üşümesin, terlemesin, hasta olmasın, yorulup incinmesin, mikrop kapmasın diye aile üyeleri ellerinden gelen tüm gayreti gösterir. Çocuk adeta bir cam fanus içinde büyütülür. Çocuğun gelişimine göre davranmasına fırsat verilmez.
Aşırı koruyucu ve abartılı sevgisi olan anne babalar çocuklarına derin duygusal bağla bağlanırlar. Anne baba çocukları için sebepsiz yere aşırı kaygı içindedir. Bu kaygıda onları çocuklarını aşırı korumaya yönlendirir. Çocuğu mutlu edemeyeceklerini düşündükleri için hep endişelidirler. Çocuğa karşı boğucu şefkat gösterirler.

Sonuç olarak aşırı koruyucu bir ortamda yetişen çocuk,

• Güvensiz ve başkalarına aşırı bağımlı bir kişi olabilir.
• Aşırı bağımlı, özgüveni gelişmemiştir.
• Sosyal gelişimi zedelenir ve sosyal hayata yeterince hazırlanamaz.
• Toplum tarafından kabulü zorlaşır.
• Kendini gruba kabul ettirmek için isyankar olabilir.
• Tek başına kararlar alamaz.
• Atılım ve başarma gücünden yoksundur.
• Kendini koruyup kollayacak birini bulunca bırakmaz ona bağımlı hala gelir ve yaşamı boyunca bu bağımlılık kişide devam eder.

Kaynak:  Birgin, Mustafa. Çocuk Eğitiminde Ailenin Önemi. El yayınları, İstanbul, 2012

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