ÇOCUKLARI ÖRNEK ALMAK

Bir zamanlar çok akıllı bir Bilge varmış. Bu Bilge hem çok bilgili hem de çok iyi kalpliymiş. Öğrencileri bir gün onun çevresini sarıp ona merakla sormuşlar:
“Kendimize kimi örnek alalım? Bilginleri mi, zenginleri mi yoksa yöneticileri mi?”
“Hiç birisini,” diye cevap vermiş bilge.
Öğrencilerden biri:
“Peki,” demiş. “Öyleyse kimi örnek alalım?”
Bilge:
“Çocukları.” deyivermiş.
Bilgenin çevresini saranlar, daha çok şaşırmışlar.
“Ne, çocukları mı?” demişler:
“Evet” demiş Bilge. “Çocukları.”
Öğrencilerden biri itiraz etmiş:
“Ama onlar hiçbir şey bilmezler ki.”
Diğer öğrenci eklemiş:
“Üstelik hep yaramazlık yaparlar.”
Bilge:
“Hayır, yanılıyorsunuz,” demiş ve devam etmiş.
“Bir kere çocuklar hep meşguldürler. Asla boş durmazlar.”
“Her zaman iyi niyetlidirler. Hiçbir zaman kötülük düşünmezler.”
“Ayrıca onlar, hiçbir şeye ihtiyaç duymadan mutludurlar.”

***
Bütün çocuklar gelişim süreçlerinde, gördükleri ve duydukları çoğu şeyi taklit etmeye çalışırlar. İyi ya da kötü, hiç farketmez. Çünkü bunları ayırt edemezler.
Özellikle okulöncesi dönemde çocuk, kendisini özdeş tutacağı model olarak anne ve babasını alır. Yani anne ve babanın hareket, tutum, konuşma gibi davranışlarını benimser ve taklit etmeye çalışır.
Çocuğun anne ve babasını model olarak alması, çocuğun gelecekteki kişilik yapısın, duygu ve düşüncesini doğrudan etkiler.
Bu nedenle, çocuğunuzla olan bütün iletişimlerinizde, yaptıklarınıza ve söylediklerinize dikkat etmeniz gerekiyor. Aksi halde, ileride bunları değiştirmeniz güç olabilir.
• Çocuklarımız söylediklerimize değil yaptıklarımıza bakarlar. Kitap okuyorsak kitap okur, Tv seyrediyor ve başından kalkmıyorsak tv bağımlısı olurlar.
• Arkadaşımız aradığında bahane uyduruyor gelemeyeceğimizi söylüyor, bir başka arkadaşımızla program yapıyorsak yalan söylemeyi öğrenirler.
• Arkadaşlarımız varsa, sosyal ortamlara giriyor ve de insanlara zaman ayırıyorsak, çocuklarımızda sosyal varlıklar olacaktır.
• Çok daha büyük oranda bizim yaşantımızdan yaptıklarımızdan etkilenirler, huysuz biriysek huysuz, iyi huylu sakin bir kişiysek iyi huylu ve sakin olurlar.
• Kendisine çok düşkün olup yanımızdan ayırmıyorsak, bağımlı olup yanımızdan ayrılmayacak ve bizi bir an bile olsun bırakmak istemeyecektir.
• Spor yapıyorsak spor yapacak, bolca aburcubur yiyor, düzeni diyet uygulamıyorsak aburcuburu sevecektir.
• Babanın alkol bağımlısı olduğu durumlarda alkole düşkünlük duyacak ilerde kendiside bağımlı olmasa bile sıkıntılı durumlarda alkole sarılacaktır.
• Anne–baba olarak tek görevimiz çocuklarımızı korumak ve kollamak değil, aynı zamanda ileride, biz yanlarında yokken, kendi ayakları üzerine basan, özgüvenli ve sorumluluk sahibi bireyler olarak yetişmelerine yardımcı olmak ve gelecekteki zorlu hayat koşullarının ufak similasyonlarıyla onları hayata hazırlamaktır.

Kaynak: Mustafa Birgin: Küçük Filozoflardan Öğretiler. 2017

 

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