ÇOCUK VE SAYGI

Saygılı olmak iyi bir insanın taşıması gereken temel özelliklerden birisidir. Saygı, insanın kendi kişiliği ile başkalarının kişiliğinin arasındaki sınırı bilip, o sınırı aşmaması, kendi aleyhine dahi olsa başkasının hakkına, hukukuna özen göstermesidir.
Çocuğa saygı kavramı, çocuğun isteklerini, yeteneklerini, ilgi alanlarını anlayıp destek vermek, yetersiz kalıp altından tek başına kalkamadığı hususları keşfedip onları imkânlar doğrultusunda desteklemek, her anlamdaki “sınırlarını” anlamak, değerlendirebilmek, sevk ve idare edebilmek gibi kavramları içerir. Bu durum, asla “çocuğun her istediğini yapmak” anlamını içermez. Çocuğa saygı kavramı, genel olarak “yargılamadan dinlemek ve anlamak, makul ve mantıklı sınırlar içinde bunları çözmesini desteklemek” şeklinde de özetlenebilir.

Saygılı çocuklar yetiştirmek için anne-babalar neler yapmalı?
• Çocuktan bir şey isterken “Lütfen”, “Teşekkür ederim”, “Sağ ol…” gibi ifadeler kullanın.
• Çocukların olumlu davranışlarına odaklanın.
• Onları eleştirip, yargılayıp, yorumlayarak kendilerini değersiz, yetersiz, başarısız hissettirmeyin.
• Sosyal ortam içinde, arkadaşının yanında veya bir toplulukta küçük düşürücü, alaycı, aşağılayıcı tavır ve imalarda bulunmayın.
• Selamlaşma, misafir ağırlama, tartışma durumlarında doğru model olun.
• Hata yaptığınızda özür dileyebilin.
• Mevsime uygun giyinme konusunda karışabilirsiniz, ancak giyim şekli ve tercihlerine saygı duyun.
• Tuvalet, banyo ve giyinme sırasındaki özel alanlarına saygı gösterin.
• Başkalarının arkasından olumsuz yorum ve konuşmalar yapmayın.
• Onları gözlerine bakarak dinleyin, sözlerini kesmeyin, söz hakkı verin.
• Düşünce ve fikirlerini değerlendirin, övün, takdir edin, sohbet ortamlarına sokun, anlattıklarını memnuniyet ve ciddiyetle dinleyin.
• Sırlarını tutun.
• Her şeyine karışmayın, baskıyla isteklerinizi kabul ettirmeyin.
• Onlara yetişkin gibi davranın ama onlardan tam da yetişkin gibi davranmasını beklemeyin ki güçlü, huzurlu, özgüvenli olsunlar.
• Yapabilme güçlerini “Sen bu işi başarırsın, sana inanıyorum” yaklaşımı ile destekleyin.
• “Bebeğim”, “O daha küçük canım” gibi yaşının altına itecek ifadelerde bulunmayın.

Unutmayın ki çocuğunuza saygı göstermeniz çocuğunuzun da size saygı göstermesini sağlar. Çocuğunuz almadığı bir şeyi size veremez.

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